During a CoDA meeting, somebody mentioned a quote to the group. [[Like Hugging a Red Balloon Experience life and let go]]. I was still waiting for an answer when I asked the group about its origins. However, my gut feeling told me it has roots in experiencing life inside of overthinking.
💖 Become Mindful Recognizing Cognitive Distortions and Finding Balance in Life
The red balloon is similar to using the healing code. The author, Alexander Lloyd, asks the listeners a vital question. What would I do with the remaining minutes if I had a short life?
I asked, “Why am I afraid of experiencing life?”
Right off the bat, A memory of a friend popped into my mind. I don’t have to experience everything, but it played out through the mind. However, I need to keep my thoughts balanced cos I can overthink.
For example, skiing is a frill-like kissing experience.
I like to try many things, such as fresh mountain air, peacefulness, views, and travel while staying in a cabin. More so, skiing is a technique, an exciting challenge with the combinations of many benefits. Meanwhile, following my interests and experiencing life can either bring suffering or overthinking to its knees. When suffering is processed, I can focus on happiness.
Moreover, the experience can lead to the desire to prevent holding on to anything. I can continue to have these thoughts in my mind, but it would be great if I stumbled upon something exciting. Something so great that it will push me to continue to seek instead of think. One way I can seek this freedom is through peaceful meditation. I am going to my inner being and seeing what my mind has been up to.
🚀 Recognizing Distortions In My Thinking
Returning to [[Recognizing Distortions In My Thinking]], continuing to overthink my experiences can lead to suffering. While working with my therapist, she shared a unique chart that has given me the ability to catch and question my experience. The chart has five columns: emotions, situation, thoughts, re-framing, and conclusion. It’s vital to question self-worth here. Knowing that [[I Am Worth it]] and justifying my worth [[Because I Exist]]. My day is at the max, and thoughts push me to think I am insufficient. Therefore, I need to keep an eye on the ultimate balance, a slice between what is real and present and what is a thought. Spending too much time with thoughts will take me away from the present moment and create much suffering in my system.
Below, I’m sharing my cognitive distortions tool with you. Feel free to use it any way you wish. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the comments below. If you enjoyed the passage above, let me know via like comment, or both. 😊
Emotions
Situation
Thoughts
Reframe The Thoughts
Conclusion
Rate Intensity 2,3,4,6
Where were you? What was going on?
What went through your mind? Proof for and against?
Identify the distortion for each thought.
Have any of your preconceptions may have influenced thoughts
Welcome to meaningful connection, where I share July resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations for those who want to grow mindfully in 7 mins. I will try to answer the following questions: let me know how I do. Meanwhile, see if you can find the answer.
“What would a miraculous change in your own life look like overall?
“If we just smile to it, it will lose much of its strength. Mindfulness is the energy that allows us to recognize our habit energy and prevent it from dominating us.”
“How could you personally make a DISHONEST effort to working the Steps and Traditions?”
“What are your personal Barriers to Success in working the Twelve Steps and Traditions?
Watch me try to summarize the above paragraph; it’s hilarious!
👓 What’s New?
I focused on my CoDA studies during August, explicitly covering the 12 promises. Meanwhile, I sincerely wanted to start practicing my driving skills to avoid depending on others to get me to a location. While in Brooklyn, I could attend a block party and try to be social while not needing a car. Finally, misuse of senses.
🔔 What is Resonating?
During August, I chose something that I rated a high rating of 4 Vye’s! While I had the bell ringing, I decided the 📥 A Study of the 12 Promises PRELUDE.
“PRELUDE: I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions.”
As I answered the three questions, I decided it would be helpful to share my answers.
“What would a miraculous change in your own life look like overall? Remember, the miraculous change that we are seeking is in ourselves, not others. Consider changes to your thoughts, emotions and actions.”
Change in my life free of seeking happiness from the outside objects/persons. Meditation has helped me pause and gain insight. Remembering to smile helps me disengage the negative thoughts. It’s from the book The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching.
“If we just smile to it, it will lose much of its strength. Mindfulness is the energy that allows us to recognize our habit energy and prevent it from dominating us.”
Similarly, in the book The Secret, I can position my thoughts for positive, attractive energy.
“How could you personally make a DISHONEST effort to working the Steps and Traditions?”
For me, the dishonest effort is not reviewing my faults and aligning them with the steps or traditions. Especially before sharing, I should write down exactly which pattern I need to prevent, especially when it hits on the topic of 💭 Running into the Fire the Desire to Expand. Another way of thinking is asking what if I’m a workaholic and overworking/overthinking?
In Buddha’s teaching, the first Nobel Truth speaks on recognizing the suffering, in my case, the unmanageability. Then, seeing the energy moving all the time, I love working on the issues at the moment and learning from experience and, in other words, reflecting on a moving train and treating it like a game. Telling others what to do is different from the right path. It is best practice for me to have them ask. I’m not good at this truth yet, but I want to recognize the suffering and adjust.
“What are your personal Barriers to Success in working the Twelve Steps and Traditions? (time, space, other people, responsibilities, finances, housing, education, employment, transportation, other interests, etc.)”
For me, it’s not enjoying self-love, spending too much time being productive, worrying about nutrition, and not being good enough. Essentially, 💭 Running into the Fire the Desire to Expand. Examples include not going to bed on time or setting up boundaries with me or others. Meanwhile, I forget my self-worth altogether.
While answering these questions, I started listing out some tools for recovery. I will continue to use The Healing Code while I pray/meditate to break through the wheel of suffering.
Moving away from CoDA, I craved loving kindness for myself in the past. I wished for the ability to drive a car and needed ways to afford it. Then I found 📥 10 CHEAP RENTAL CAR HACKS That Will Save You Money. The title is super clickbait, but I needed to research that area. On a lighter note, The Deal Guy tells me to pay attention to the following points.
For August, I will choose a topic sprouting #note/🌱 that needs to be elaborated upon further. The thought I decided was 💭 Visiting a friend at the block party. I remember feeling overwhelmed and feelings of weakness. I felt that way because, at the block party, I couldn’t but feel not good enough. I was not doing enough. I spent money on charcoal and party plastic cups. However, I hate plastic waste and I felt terrible about myself. I also have anxiety about talking to others, putting pressure on my friend to help me through the day, and cooking to get my mind off it. I don’t know it was hard. After all the hard work, I met a girl, but I don’t know if she’s real.
Then I thought to myself – Why do you expect others to complete me?
Block parties are wasteful, unsustainable, loud, and confusing. I had a lot of frustrations because I didn’t understand what I needed to do there to help my friend. And also, I put myself into a position with many people. Very uncomfortable. I don’t know if I want to do this again. Then, all I thought about was running errands, not making friends. My experience led me to learn I need to find a way to practice doing small talk in large group gatherings.
I could have done better; feel free to add your thoughts. If not, let’s see what’s going on in mental nourishment.
🥑 Mental Nourishment
Throughout August, I had many thoughts focused on the mind, and Buddhism. The first runner-up is 💭 Misuse of senses. I remember feeling concerned, dirty, sad, and curious feelings. I felt that way because at night I overslept and had my mom’s birthday party. Some of my happiness was coming from dating apps. I allowed it to get to my pleasure senses, then positioned my mind to get some pleasure from adult sites. I deserve to see the pictures of what it looks like and explore. Later on, I went on Google, and I came across a Reddit post. The post taught me that I need to practice the four noble truths. In particular, refrain from the misuse of the senses. For example, I should not look at people lustfully or commit adultery. In a Reddit post, somebody mentioned the following.
“Middle way would be * in moderation and without * as long as you are not a Buddhist monk.”
Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but make the connection to the CoDA Denial Pattern – I didn’t acknowledge my feelings and let them go. Instead, I allowed myself to numb out. My plan for the future is to continue to meditate to notice my strong negative feelings and desire for self-care while asking the question of what little things I can do to help my mind be at ease.
In the same vein, 💭 after Saturday meet-up. I remember feeling sadness. I felt that way because of dating apps. Then I got impatient that I was alone and didn’t meet anybody. Then I thought about eating a lot of sweets at night. Also, I came home to an empty apartment again. My feelings of negative pressure were overwhelming. Later, I looked at the thoughts in Buddhism and the attributes I must learn. I concluded that I needed to review the previous learnings in the other thought note and recognize that I was in a denial pattern.
I had many other thoughts; that insight keeps me focused. Feel free to let me know your thoughts. Otherwise, let’s keep on trucking to the stream of consciousness.
🚿 Stream of Consciousness
I am trying to untangle myself from useless, free, unpaid dating apps that don’t bring any women back but experience. I’m stuck in fear mode and adhering to the zodiac signs to choose the love of my life. Last year, I met that person and somebody who broke my heart and lied to me about their feelings. Many times, I try to forgive her in my heart.
My body craves love, and I don’t know why I can’t give myself enough. A part of me wants to run away and experience life more, and the responsible me is like your crazy. Your family is nearby, and what will you do with your job? It’s so frustrating. I worked at my post for ten years, and I cannot take a sabbatical to reestablish what the heck is my life’s purpose. My goal was to find some farming internships and gain some life experience. I could even start my farm near the mountains to go skiing while enjoying the fresh mountain air. I want to taste that life, but I don’t know how.
Well, that’s pretty much it for August, let’s see what Mr. AI Assistant tells me to do.
✨AI Assistant
Had told me I need to work on the following. What do you all think?
The content is well-structured and organized, with clear headings for each section. The author shares personal experiences and thoughts related to CoDA studies, driving skills, block parties, and mindfulness. The use of links to external resources adds value to the content.
To improve the post, consider the following actions:
Add more context and explanation about CoDA studies and the 12 promises to help readers better understand the topic.
Provide more specific examples or anecdotes related to the author’s experiences at the block party and in practicing small talk in large group gatherings.
Explore mindfulness techniques in more detail and provide practical tips for incorporating them into daily life.
Include a brief summary or key takeaways at the end of each section to enhance readability and help readers grasp the main points.
Consider adding images or visuals to make the post more engaging and visually appealing.
Overall, the content is informative and engaging, and with these improvements, it can become even more valuable to readers seeking insights and personal growth.
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✨ I’m pretty happy with what I’m doing now. What am I doing? I was creating a #sketch and #Blender and decided to draw over the #gray box. Let’s go back to #Krita and it came out. Really cool but I like the little #Minecraft look and feel.
Welcome to meaningful connection, where I share March resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations.
Meaningful Connection
👓 What’s New?
A significant departure from my notes, I decided to pause on the reviews and focus my energy on what’s resonating, feelings, and thoughts. I want to continue refining my discoveries to build meaningful connections with the content I consume. I made the subconscious choice because I needed to do something more vital with the content. Moreso, it took a lot of copy-pasting and tweaking queries throughout the week to get my monthly review together. After that, I plan to revisit the thoughts and morning pages. In addition, I’m practicing the CE 5 Protocol and Healing Code, which calms my soul and provides growth.
I listened to Mary and Ken talk in CoDA UK for steps 8 and 9 (https://codauk.org/ken-and-mary-2019/). I remember being avoidant with my family and letting my authority figure of fear control me. Then the discovery about my childhood interaction with others left me wondering: What do amends look like for me? Because for the longest time, I had blamed the outside world for my feelings. It has left me seeking balance and wisdom. I will find balance through continuously journaling and reflecting on the areas of my interest. In particular, it’s good for me to monitor my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Forgetting to pray and pause is a common theme in my life. I quickly get excited about cooking. When I cook and try to improve my health, I spend copious hours understanding and implementing ideas. Where is the pause button? Mary and Ken discuss the concept of chasing for an answer. Am I in a place to hear the truth? For much of my life, I shut those thoughts off subconsciously and feared the reality of the situation. In CoDA, its a progress and not perfection. I found a small silver lining, praying and hanging signs to remind me to pause. It’s okay not to know myself at the very moment and to be lost. For now, I will find myself soon. It is remembering that I cannot always let fear be my authority figure.
Fear is a figure that blows through my boundaries, not a loving Higher Power who wants the best for me. I could skip filling my plate with complete nutrition or leave a few dishes in the sink. Overall, the problem I aim to solve is moving from a position of weakness to a more balanced lifestyle. Meanwhile, I know I cannot control and blame others but improve myself.
🌻 What’s Growing?
For the month, I will choose something that is sprouting and needs to be elaborated upon further. The most exciting thing to guide the mind will be questions that require complex answers. Questions have many answers too. Some time ago, I started collecting my top 12 favorite problems to find solutions. It will guide me to search for information instead of mindlessly highlighting everything I see on the interwebs. Feynman coined the idea to chip away at challenging issues in life.
The plan is to continue questioning the content I consume and testing it against the question. The problems that come from life very well reflect my core values. For example, if I want to expand my ability to show kindness to others, I must ask the following question. How can I find balance while having the desire to grow? Which lead me to CoDA step 4 and 5. I must keep an inventory of my actions toward others and promptly admit when I’m wrong so I can reflect and grow as a human being to society.
🥑 Mental Nourishment
Throughout March, I had many thoughts that differed from my objective notes. However, most of the time, the feeling is inspired. I plan to find a better way to resurface those feelings in my notes, but I’m going based on what I can dig out by modified time.
Speaking to my friend about dating, he made a connection to resumes. The profile is like a highlight of the best version of myself. After I meet the person, I can further elaborate on my vulnerability, weakness, and plans for the future. He mentioned that it is essential to maintain my anonymity for purposes of equality. Until I know them and they are “safe” to share with, I might want to keep parts of me hidden.
For example, perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to share my past trauma. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m proud of my journey personally, but I’ve noticed certain words trigger a misunderstanding (like codependent), so I leave them out. Further into the future, my grandmother told me that couples rub off each other over a while and learn what love entails. In other words, I can understand love when I sense the inner suffering of my better half.
I plan to validate my life with what I love to do to attract the correct type of energy.
🚿 Stream of Consciousness
As March passed, I started doing fewer daily, weekly, and monthly reviews. My therapist suggests I focus my energy only on gratitude and feeling my feelings. I decided to change because I felt overwhelmed with my desire to cook in the keto lifestyle. Since my weekends include art, shopping, and cooking, I want to involve myself spiritually and take more vacations during the week, so my life goes smoother.
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Welcome to #meaningful #connection, where I share #resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations from my month of January.
👓 What’s New?
My biggest accomplishment for the month was completing holiday cards for my family. I started drawing on 2022-11-24 and finished it a week later than the plan. I hand-drew eight different cards. The goal was to make quick sketches and see what I liked on the internet before putting them together. Then create text in various languages and sign each card. Then I made a budget of 160 dollars to split among each card. The best part about doing the cards was the live streaming on Twitch because it made it super fun and gave a way to mediate and take breaks while illustrating. A single most exciting discovery was when creating the cards, don’t make the cards out to a particular person. Instead, let the creative process be fun and open. Then, in the end, I started discovering who to gift.
My most significant career achievement was when I started creating a map of content for my projects at work. I didn’t use Obsidian because, at work, we use OneNote, so I decided to modal my notebook using the PARA method. Then it was alright to create the idea of linking my thinking.
I should pause and pray during the Imaginative Illustrator events. In other words, I can seek balance in everything I do. So, I decided to tear off my notes from my monitor except for the word pray.
Sometimes I have a vision of my encounters, which makes me upset. After speaking to my mom and therapist, they suggested I reframe the picture and tell it I’m not afraid. Then perhaps it will decrease its hold on my life.
🔔 What is resonating?
During January, I chose something that I rated above four and now is in my life. With that in mind, I got the Om Mani Padme Hum the true meaning. It’s a YouTube video that got many views and ran about one minute and 25 seconds. The author left a summary for us: Aum is the body, speech, and mind. It’s also the opening to the four syllables—impure practitioner. The budda is pure, a practice to Buddhahood’s development path. An intro to the meaning of the words.
After going through the initial dive, I left with more questions than answers. In other words, I had to do deep reflection to discover the truth. Even if the explanation was clear, the chant was meaningless unless I knew the real reason for each word. What’s more, even if I knew the reason, it wasn’t enough to free myself of the burden of learning it. I needed a way to relate it to my personal life to find a profound connection.
While dating an Indonesian woman, I discovered the true meaning of Infinite Altruism. I had to try to understand the person’s suffering before loving them. Even after our breakup, I tried to make sense of it. Letting go of something with such beauty was not easy, even if I loved her. Both of us were suffering from trust issues and weren’t ready to give up our past to be bold together.
Therefore, as I pass through Mani, I reflect on my Padme as it grows through the mock of the earth into something clean and beautiful. As time goes by, every day reveals my stuck places, but I have the option first to acknowledge that it happened, each event has internal beauty, and I can always gain something even if I have to give it up. In the end, finding a beginning, it’s a balance that I must seek, and the process continues.
Given the opportunity, I will continue to remind myself it’s about progress and not perfection.
For January, I will choose some sprouting things that need to be elaborated upon further. Of such caliber, I need to hire a personal cook helper. I’m looking for a helper to prepare my meals because it will speed things up regarding my stress level. Also, allow me to learn faster. In other words, the cook and I will work together to make the meals.
Meanwhile, I can learn a few tricks, which lead me to do a google search and eventually to care.com. I don’t know much about hospitality service, but I must explore it to live a balanced life. In turn, the action will promote my cooking and improve my health. What’s more, it is like a mental massage because I will be investing in life.
Next on my list, balance core value is growing in the number of connections in my daily life. I have noticed a desire to expand and prove myself. For example, I get triggered when I make a mistake. Then I completely forget about my body. As the new year started, I accumulated numerous links to gain insight into seeking balance. For example, during my relationship with my love, I came across a question: How do I want to be treated? I came to know that I needed to be a glass half empty before fear sets into my response. While working with my therapist, I’m more impulsive when I don’t meet my needs, so I need to seek balance in everything I do. As such, reflection and pausing are dear to me.
Therefore, to be treated respectfully, I must take care of myself and seek my internal happiness.
🥑 Mental Nourishment
As January moved beyond our reach, I had many thoughts that differed from the more traditional object bullets. Some time ago, I decided to focus on feeling content because those are visited every morning or if I get triggered. Of such interest, the happy feeling has been at an all-time high compared to others. The feeling is described as pleasure or contentment, while I use it as an adjective.
While listening to Alexa, a song titled “A Clear Night” by Jeff Pearce got me into a feeling of happiness and sadness. It took me back to when I skied with my ex and had an opportunity to explore the world outside of New York. As a result, I learned I need to travel more with friends and build new memories.
Travel more on my own to find a unique experience. Therefore, maybe I can plan to travel to Calgary or Colorado to create something great.
🚿 Stream of Consciousness
Moving near the end, I like to grab a summary of the month or some obstacles I faced. I drew holiday cards for the family while live streaming Twitch. I met with Tyler Tseng, Brian Relph, Soul Coach, and Mark Haskins and had an art meetup. Meanwhile, I visit Chinatown throughout the week. Mostly regular days at DCAS. On weekends, I went shopping, cooked, did an art meetup, and sometimes did no bible study.
Interestingly, I was obsessing over the Bluetooth issue. I focused on the Acts project and ski planning with Edi at work. Sometimes, I felt the urge to defend the Act’s existing system to try to get it to work, which led to good and bad days because I did things without balance.
I struggled with balance and keeping an eye on it, especially with my recent breakup. I’m spending only a little time on social media to prove I’m worth it. Next time I will keep doing the healing code. Something may come of it.
I hope all is well. Today, I’m doing a timed writing workout. To pick a quote that speaks to me in the exercise. The challenge mentioned that it’s like an epigraph. It’s similar to how an author inserts a quote at the beginning of the book. For day 4, I choose the section, “Your life is what your thoughts make it.” I like that quote by Confucius because I struggled with that idea.
Anything from going into a dirty rabbit hole to evil thoughts parading my mind. Also, these feelings were left un-processed, and my mind drained. Recently, I learned that the brain consumes 25% of body energy as the neurons fire every mini-second.
Journaling – “Your life is what your thoughts make it.”
In the end, I have a journal in hand to write as a stoic to an evening review. During that time, I spend a few minutes asking and answering questions to see where an objective improvement is needed. For example, I’m battling loneliness because I haven’t lived independently. My mind consistently reminds me of this situation, and I must try to keep myself mentally healthy.
I learned that meditation helps by refocusing my mind on processing emotions. For example, in “Coming Home to Yourself,” Sarah Blondin speaks on centering around my heart. The heart is always with me, cheering me on no matter what I do. Therefore, I’m never truly alone.
I want to say that I must remind myself, my inner child, that when I go down that road, I’m with somebody who is my true life partner. Who will stay with me till the end no matter what choices I make in my life?
Framing my mind in such a way will help me keep a balance. As well, keep Satan’s evil game away.
“We remember that we are powerless over others.”
Moreover, I’m working on Coda, and I happen to be on step 8. A quote popped into my head about change, “we remember that we are powerless over others.” To me, it’s speaking that change comes within me, and it’s pointless to try to change anybody outside the vessel.
At this time of writing, I have about 10 minutes left, so I’m telling self to keep going until the minutes run. Then see if anything else comes to mind while remembering the quote, “Your life is what your thoughts make it.”
I remember all the feelings of arguments with my ex in my mind. Then, I ask myself: Do I want to be correct or free. To be accessible and able to be me. I am expressing myself without feeling restricted at home.
It is a blessing to be alone because I now have minimalism in my life. It’s truly helping me clear the clutter out of my life and focus on what is vital to me. For the moment, my most significant achievement is not buying a couch, TV, and bed end tables. Instead, my apartment feels open and accessible. Sometimes, I wonder if I will find a small place because I have too much space.
I’m excited to find clever way’s to use my space to bring me fulfillment. I want to entertain the idea of sitting on the floor and doing work or leisure things.
I’m following a few YouTubers who share the same light, and I’m using that energy to see how I can expand my mind. One such channel is Heal Your living. She is a practitioner of mindfulness, sustainability, minimalism, and wellness. I hope to capture some of that energy and replicate it in my life.
Alright, well, that is enough for 30 minutes of writing. Hope to see you all in the next workout.
