I see a location of openness and oneness. I think of the stock market no more. The last few weeks were hectic cos my focus was solely on learning and cramming so much information. If I had to put a smell to it, I would choose electric wire burning. I think of the wire plastic melting down. Constant noise from the outside world and my body while screaming I cannot hear it speak. Abundance speaks health to me. That is what I was throwing away. Losing something is such a pain.
The loss of abundance
Loss of money causes lots of pain. Not listening to my feelings will cause hurt to come out from somewhere else or on somebody else.
After selling most of my positions, notably Baba, I felt relief. First, however, I need to address the big issue. Why did I allow myself to get into the pain first? My feelings forced me to get revenge and fight the market back. I thought that it owes me something.
Discovery of Abundance
So I had to transfer myself to writing on a different day. Yesterday I was coming to Atlantic Ave train stop, and I had to move to another train. However, I didn’t have a way to write my notes. It’s also a slow process on the phone. So I ended up going to read Alex Novec. It’s a book about finding happiness.
His book is interesting in that he has no limbs. At first, sadness and frustrated, but he found ways to cope with it as life went on. If I let it show me what to do, life is a great teacher. So the idea of abundance is all around me.
Later that day, I eventually found myself programming at work—my regular job. I had, of course, checked the stock market a few times but quickly told myself not to get into the market. I want to maintain my sanity. So I want to get an EFT stock and keep things simple. Start with a well-diversified portfolio first, then watch it every month. Then go from there.
My most prominent scary thought is to buy some ETF share while we have a dip. Nobody knows the low. We know that market goes up all the time. So it’s better to resist the temptation of waiting. I was thinking of getting into VOO and JETS. Then see what happens.
Recovery
Today I set a time limit of 15 mins so, hopefully, I can continue getting the abundance of ideas then close out in the end. I think I have about a minute left before I need to go to my next task. So I should write something nice at the end and say my Goodbyes till I write next time. Maybe that is already good enough, and I can let go here.
Abundance makes me feel that I have a lot in my life and need to stop and see it—kind of like meditation and stillness. I dont know why the timer didn’t go off yet, but I’m writing till the last letter here. I’m trying not to look at the timer, but it does cause anxiety, cos I have other things on my to-do list.
For example, I want to wash my face, work out and then move towards my favorite part of the day, breakfast. I had made oatmeal a few nights before. Today I will add apples, raspberries, figs, nuts, and almond milk. All the goodness I can think of and then some more. I am waiting for my avocado to become ripe.
So I cheated. I looked at the timer. It turns out that I have about a minute left to say my goodbye. Man, I’m surprised that I had some much today say. That is a version of abundance. I will throw the text into Grammarly and then hopefully publish the post today.
Be well.
