Vyechi | Personal Growth & Mindfulness

Tag: feelings

  • 💝 Meaningful Connection 2023-M04

    💝 Meaningful Connection 2023-M04

    Welcome to meaningful connection, where I share April’s resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations for those who want to grow mindfully.

    Meaningful Connection

    👓 What’s New?

    Well, ever since I stopped journaling my achievements and switched to more of what’s fresh on the plate, I had to be more creative. As of late, I am a fantastic cook. I can make Kimchi, Golden Liquid with fermented rice. I love the sour, hot spicy, rich, flavored kimchi mixed with crispy veggies. I’m learning a ton about nutrition and glad to find that the knowledge is quickly becoming wisdom. When I dated my previous ex, her mother was a witch doctor in Chinese cooking. Since I love the environment so much, I have a strong affinity for that passion.

    Meanwhile, my most significant achievement is learning how to flip food while sautéing. I love it cos it adds so much joy to my morning breakfast. While sauteing, I feel the excitement while the food lands back on the pan. Moving off from the cooking vibe, I recently spruced up my YouTube channel branding. I’m thinking about reading my blog posts. I know of a blogger who had some success in doing so. Anyhow, let’s move into resonating thoughts.

    🔔 What is resonating?

    During April, I recently touched CoDA, the making choices book. Before jumping into the reading, CoDA stands for Co-Dependents Anonymous—a place for healing relationships and seeking a healthy mindset. In comparison, I was explicitly creating my affirmations. While searching for what changed, I came across a question. How can I include my feelings while thinking about my obstacles? It was clever to have my Higher Power because my feelings could link to my ideas. Pausing is something hard for me. The thought universe as I grow and question what is happening in my mind. I come to realize that I have a choice. The ability to reflect on my actions and learn. Nothing new; what’s special? Well, if I feel my feelings and don’t shove them away. I can link them to other events in my life. Then create a strong bond and grow. Therefore, if I bring my boundaries and goals into the picture and will come to know my Higher Power.

    🌻 What’s Growing?

    As April rages on, my greenhouse continues to receive fresh herbs. Recently while moving my obsidian vault, I discovered that Windows likes to hide folders. I was trying to clone my repository, and it would fail to connect. Later I realized that I had to move the hidden git folder, which tells GitHub what to fetch. Therefore, it was time to amend my readme file and add some documentation to troubleshoot that problem out of existence.

    Nevertheless, compared to another note, I discovered a reflection with the following question. What are some things I realized when I got mature? I came across the question on a dating community. However, what’s interesting is becoming an adult, accepting things for what they are, and not trying to control them. I felt strong because I’m in CoDA, so I know it’s a process that comes and goes. In other words, progress and not perfection.

    Meanwhile, I learned that I must care for my basic needs to see any progress. Therefore, I continue seeking inspiration from CoDA Community and my soul coach and therapist sessions. Thus, I’m going to move on to the nourishment part next.

    🥑 Mental Nourishment

    As I strapped myself in for the mental nourishment, I understood a new combined threat. I feel fear while writing those words, and I need to find a way to remove or create a new section. It was a good idea to combine this section with the above. I will have to find a way to avoid duplication. However, I will focus on something other than tackling that issue right now. I love the note on what I found attractive in my women. I was dating Jul last year, and I made a list. As I was making the list, I felt delighted and had a strong love for her. I love that she has jet black hair, traveling vibes, a body shape that is so huggable, helpful when I’m not feeling good, fun facial expressions, easygoing, and recharges me when I spend time with her. While I miss her so much and wish she was in my life forever, I did get to explore the person who would give me the kind of love I desire. The plan is to seek a personality that makes me feel good about being me. Let’s move toward the end of the fun in the consciousness section.

    🚿 Stream of Consciousness

    For the close of April, I’m seeking to learn to cook my remaining scraps while being environmentally balanced. Every weekend, I pushed myself to the brink of breaking because I overpack my schedule and don’t give myself enough room for spiritual maintenance. I’m always thinking about fixing or tweaking something for the better, such as utilizing my resources in the Obsidian. However, I found a small silver lining during my sleeping hour. I started praying my 30 points around my stomach while connecting with my Higher Power. As soon as I start channeling the Healing Code, I immediately repair issues of the heart, which brings me deeper sleep and a bright future ahead.

    Sidebar, I’m planning to live stream while I try to read my blog post. So, feel free to jump in if it starts or catch the highlights later attached to this blog post. Also, below is my latest creation from Japanese folklore – Kasa Jizou.

    Catch the vlog reading on Twitch ^ ^ https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1812510729

    Well, that’s it for April; feel free to share your ideas or if you have something on your soul. If you want to know how I became an artist, subscribe and follow my blog for more.

  • 💝 Meaningful Connection 2023-M03

    💝 Meaningful Connection 2023-M03

    Welcome to meaningful connection, where I share March resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations.

    Meaningful Connection

    👓 What’s New?

    A significant departure from my notes, I decided to pause on the reviews and focus my energy on what’s resonating, feelings, and thoughts. I want to continue refining my discoveries to build meaningful connections with the content I consume. I made the subconscious choice because I needed to do something more vital with the content. Moreso, it took a lot of copy-pasting and tweaking queries throughout the week to get my monthly review together. After that, I plan to revisit the thoughts and morning pages. In addition, I’m practicing the CE 5 Protocol and Healing Code, which calms my soul and provides growth.

    In other news, I added a new menu on my blog to represent you. I will draw a line and your initials when you donate at any time. The more times you donate, the thinker the line will get. First and last initial near the bar.

    🔔 What is resonating?

    I listened to Mary and Ken talk in CoDA UK for steps 8 and 9 (https://codauk.org/ken-and-mary-2019/). I remember being avoidant with my family and letting my authority figure of fear control me. Then the discovery about my childhood interaction with others left me wondering: What do amends look like for me? Because for the longest time, I had blamed the outside world for my feelings. It has left me seeking balance and wisdom. I will find balance through continuously journaling and reflecting on the areas of my interest. In particular, it’s good for me to monitor my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

    Forgetting to pray and pause is a common theme in my life. I quickly get excited about cooking. When I cook and try to improve my health, I spend copious hours understanding and implementing ideas. Where is the pause button? Mary and Ken discuss the concept of chasing for an answer. Am I in a place to hear the truth? For much of my life, I shut those thoughts off subconsciously and feared the reality of the situation. In CoDA, its a progress and not perfection. I found a small silver lining, praying and hanging signs to remind me to pause. It’s okay not to know myself at the very moment and to be lost. For now, I will find myself soon. It is remembering that I cannot always let fear be my authority figure.

    Fear is a figure that blows through my boundaries, not a loving Higher Power who wants the best for me. I could skip filling my plate with complete nutrition or leave a few dishes in the sink. Overall, the problem I aim to solve is moving from a position of weakness to a more balanced lifestyle. Meanwhile, I know I cannot control and blame others but improve myself.

    🌻 What’s Growing?

    For the month, I will choose something that is sprouting and needs to be elaborated upon further. The most exciting thing to guide the mind will be questions that require complex answers. Questions have many answers too. Some time ago, I started collecting my top 12 favorite problems to find solutions. It will guide me to search for information instead of mindlessly highlighting everything I see on the interwebs. Feynman coined the idea to chip away at challenging issues in life.

    The plan is to continue questioning the content I consume and testing it against the question. The problems that come from life very well reflect my core values. For example, if I want to expand my ability to show kindness to others, I must ask the following question. How can I find balance while having the desire to grow? Which lead me to CoDA step 4 and 5. I must keep an inventory of my actions toward others and promptly admit when I’m wrong so I can reflect and grow as a human being to society.

    🥑 Mental Nourishment

    Throughout March, I had many thoughts that differed from my objective notes. However, most of the time, the feeling is inspired. I plan to find a better way to resurface those feelings in my notes, but I’m going based on what I can dig out by modified time.

    Speaking to my friend about dating, he made a connection to resumes. The profile is like a highlight of the best version of myself. After I meet the person, I can further elaborate on my vulnerability, weakness, and plans for the future. He mentioned that it is essential to maintain my anonymity for purposes of equality. Until I know them and they are “safe” to share with, I might want to keep parts of me hidden.

    For example, perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to share my past trauma. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m proud of my journey personally, but I’ve noticed certain words trigger a misunderstanding (like codependent), so I leave them out. Further into the future, my grandmother told me that couples rub off each other over a while and learn what love entails. In other words, I can understand love when I sense the inner suffering of my better half.

    I plan to validate my life with what I love to do to attract the correct type of energy.

    🚿 Stream of Consciousness

    As March passed, I started doing fewer daily, weekly, and monthly reviews. My therapist suggests I focus my energy only on gratitude and feeling my feelings. I decided to change because I felt overwhelmed with my desire to cook in the keto lifestyle. Since my weekends include art, shopping, and cooking, I want to involve myself spiritually and take more vacations during the week, so my life goes smoother.

    If you want to know how I became an artist, subscribe and follow my blog for more.

  • 💝 Meaningful Connection 2023-M01

    💝 Meaningful Connection 2023-M01

    Welcome to #meaningful #connection, where I share #resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations from my month of January.

    👓 What’s New?

    My biggest accomplishment for the month was completing holiday cards for my family. I started drawing on 2022-11-24 and finished it a week later than the plan. I hand-drew eight different cards. The goal was to make quick sketches and see what I liked on the internet before putting them together. Then create text in various languages and sign each card. Then I made a budget of 160 dollars to split among each card. The best part about doing the cards was the live streaming on Twitch because it made it super fun and gave a way to mediate and take breaks while illustrating. A single most exciting discovery was when creating the cards, don’t make the cards out to a particular person. Instead, let the creative process be fun and open. Then, in the end, I started discovering who to gift.

    My most significant career achievement was when I started creating a map of content for my projects at work. I didn’t use Obsidian because, at work, we use OneNote, so I decided to modal my notebook using the PARA method. Then it was alright to create the idea of linking my thinking.

    I should pause and pray during the Imaginative Illustrator events. In other words, I can seek balance in everything I do. So, I decided to tear off my notes from my monitor except for the word pray.

    Sometimes I have a vision of my encounters, which makes me upset. After speaking to my mom and therapist, they suggested I reframe the picture and tell it I’m not afraid. Then perhaps it will decrease its hold on my life.

    🔔 What is resonating?

    During January, I chose something that I rated above four and now is in my life. With that in mind, I got the Om Mani Padme Hum the true meaning. It’s a YouTube video that got many views and ran about one minute and 25 seconds. The author left a summary for us: Aum is the body, speech, and mind. It’s also the opening to the four syllables—impure practitioner. The budda is pure, a practice to Buddhahood’s development path. An intro to the meaning of the words.

    After going through the initial dive, I left with more questions than answers. In other words, I had to do deep reflection to discover the truth. Even if the explanation was clear, the chant was meaningless unless I knew the real reason for each word. What’s more, even if I knew the reason, it wasn’t enough to free myself of the burden of learning it. I needed a way to relate it to my personal life to find a profound connection.

    While dating an Indonesian woman, I discovered the true meaning of Infinite Altruism. I had to try to understand the person’s suffering before loving them. Even after our breakup, I tried to make sense of it. Letting go of something with such beauty was not easy, even if I loved her. Both of us were suffering from trust issues and weren’t ready to give up our past to be bold together.

    Therefore, as I pass through Mani, I reflect on my Padme as it grows through the mock of the earth into something clean and beautiful. As time goes by, every day reveals my stuck places, but I have the option first to acknowledge that it happened, each event has internal beauty, and I can always gain something even if I have to give it up. In the end, finding a beginning, it’s a balance that I must seek, and the process continues.

    Given the opportunity, I will continue to remind myself it’s about progress and not perfection.

    If you are interested in learning more about the true meaning of Om Mani Padme Hum, visit the YouTube link. Om Mani Padme Hung – The True Meaning – Based on an Explanation by His Holiness the Dalai Lama – YouTube.

    🌻 What’s Growing?

    For January, I will choose some sprouting things that need to be elaborated upon further. Of such caliber, I need to hire a personal cook helper. I’m looking for a helper to prepare my meals because it will speed things up regarding my stress level. Also, allow me to learn faster. In other words, the cook and I will work together to make the meals.

    Meanwhile, I can learn a few tricks, which lead me to do a google search and eventually to care.com. I don’t know much about hospitality service, but I must explore it to live a balanced life. In turn, the action will promote my cooking and improve my health. What’s more, it is like a mental massage because I will be investing in life.

    Next on my list, balance core value is growing in the number of connections in my daily life. I have noticed a desire to expand and prove myself. For example, I get triggered when I make a mistake. Then I completely forget about my body. As the new year started, I accumulated numerous links to gain insight into seeking balance. For example, during my relationship with my love, I came across a question: How do I want to be treated? I came to know that I needed to be a glass half empty before fear sets into my response. While working with my therapist, I’m more impulsive when I don’t meet my needs, so I need to seek balance in everything I do. As such, reflection and pausing are dear to me.

    Therefore, to be treated respectfully, I must take care of myself and seek my internal happiness.

    🥑 Mental Nourishment

    As January moved beyond our reach, I had many thoughts that differed from the more traditional object bullets. Some time ago, I decided to focus on feeling content because those are visited every morning or if I get triggered. Of such interest, the happy feeling has been at an all-time high compared to others. The feeling is described as pleasure or contentment, while I use it as an adjective.

    While listening to Alexa, a song titled “A Clear Night” by Jeff Pearce got me into a feeling of happiness and sadness. It took me back to when I skied with my ex and had an opportunity to explore the world outside of New York. As a result, I learned I need to travel more with friends and build new memories.

    Travel more on my own to find a unique experience. Therefore, maybe I can plan to travel to Calgary or Colorado to create something great.

    🚿 Stream of Consciousness

    Moving near the end, I like to grab a summary of the month or some obstacles I faced. I drew holiday cards for the family while live streaming Twitch. I met with Tyler Tseng, Brian Relph, Soul Coach, and Mark Haskins and had an art meetup. Meanwhile, I visit Chinatown throughout the week. Mostly regular days at DCAS. On weekends, I went shopping, cooked, did an art meetup, and sometimes did no bible study.

    Interestingly, I was obsessing over the Bluetooth issue. I focused on the Acts project and ski planning with Edi at work. Sometimes, I felt the urge to defend the Act’s existing system to try to get it to work, which led to good and bad days because I did things without balance.

    I struggled with balance and keeping an eye on it, especially with my recent breakup. I’m spending only a little time on social media to prove I’m worth it. Next time I will keep doing the healing code. Something may come of it.

    💝 Warming Up My Hands!

    Drawing Turtle Island with Imaginative Illustrators
  • 💝 Meaningful Connection 2022-M12

    💝 Meaningful Connection 2022-M12

    Welcome to #meaningful #connection, where I share #resonating ideas, thoughts, and realizations from my month of December.

    👓 What’s New?

    During December, my most significant personal achievement was the Development of 💭 For the love of the spirit of affirmations. Because It might help me further develop my mind. The idea is to combine obstacles, feelings, affirmation, gratitude for myself, and a connection to my higher power. In doing so, I can remember to do better with my triggers. For example, I used to have a habit of eating and watching a show in the morning, and I removed it. To do so, I journaled my feelings of unhappiness and then spoke my affirmation. The affirmation I use is, “I keep my schedule open, so I have balance in my life.” Then I would pray to ⛰️ My Higher Power and combine that with gratitude to focus on the positive. For example, I would say I am inspecting my thoughts closely and try proving to myself that I can be a happy person and have ways to do that. Aside from that, I had many other accomplishments, but I want to zero in on my career next.

    Also, my most significant career achievement in December was completing an offline app feature for a large angular app. While working on the item, getting a coworker’s input is vital to spot many logic issues. Unfortunately, the part is hard to fix, and I must get more eyes on it so the team can succeed.

    In other news, my productivity was getting better because I started my bedtime routine at 9:30 pm almost every day, which gave me the ability to have more capacity during the day and process my expanding desire to learn. Also, giving up watching shows while eating helped me pause and reflect. It allowed me to work on my projects.

    In late November, I started drawing holiday cards project for my family and was able to complete everything before the new year. However, it took longer than expected, and I passed my deadline by a week. Nevertheless, I finished eight-holiday cards, all hand drawn.

    While the project went well, I learned a few things throughout the weeks. For example, one valuable lesson was that I only need to take on challenges in the morning once I finish my breakfast. Otherwise, I get frustrated or upset, which can cause stomach issues. Also, dont eat and watch shows because that will cause problems with how much I eat and how I feel afterward.

    🔔 What is resonating?

    During December, my goal is to choose an input that is in finished status or has some juice to share. Of such caliber, I found a meeting that occurred on 18 December from CoDA. We covered the pamphlet The Making Choices Book and read the section Create your Affirmations. I learned that affirmations are powerful when using them for a goal. Such as, I want to manifest the type of person I want to be, like Honesty Core Value. However, the best part about the reading was the following point. 

    We put them into positive language. In other words, “I am a valuable person” is more affirming than “I’m not worthless.”

    The Making Choices Book

    To create affirmations, I can refer to my obstacles to create positive language. All in all, It gives me a target or goal that I can plan objectively.

    🌻 What’s Growing?

    For December, I will choose a mature idea I developed in my incubator. Looking at my list, I have yet to have the time to work on anything new. However, I noticed my note on How to organize and process a quick capture log. In that note, I have a line saying to use the fleeting notes app, but as of late, I moved my fleeting notes to Google Keep and embedded them inside Obsidian. I aim to use the notes to inspire further inspection of ideas and build new concepts. Using Google Keep is super easy and always available on my phone. One critical issue that has affected me was the inability to keep up with my fleeting notes. The idea is to process them at the end of the day or so, but I noticed that they tend to sit for a long time before they get off that list. I will follow up if I find a clever way to process them.

    🥑 Mental Nourishment

    Meanwhile, as of December, I had many thoughts that differed from the notes of the objective Zettelkasten. I am still figuring out how to choose which notes I should share. I need to link it up with a rating system. Earlier I spoke about 🗺️ Feelings MOC. The idea is to get an overall sense of what’s happening each month, and I’m not sure how to get those results yet. I plan to use the influx plugin, check the highest feeling and see what thoughts connect to it. Starting from today, the surface with the most hits was happiness. Therefore I will choose one and talk about it briefly.

    In particular, my ex asked me what a relationship means to you. The following list came about:

    • Living together, we will come to know
    • I felt happy cos she wanted to move to the next step.
    • When I get upset, she won’t get triggered and will wait for me to work through it
    • I feel safe sharing my emotions
    • Helping each other during tough times
    • A relationship needs commitment
    • I don’t believe in marriage, but if we must, if our finance is too far apart, then a prenup is in order.
    • We are Patient
    • Active/Sports/Walks/Travel
    • Great in bed
    • Doesn’t make me worry
    • Clear Zodiac Signs
    • Respect, and be a glass half empty before fear. I briefly reviewed the first tradition and noticed that the relationship is more vital than a focus on self.

    🚿 Stream of Consciousness

    Anyway, going to wrap up the month. I had struggled with my balance, and now ex. Next time I get into a relationship with somebody who is international, I will state the requirement of a prenup or be financially similar to me. Also can move to the United States without any issues from my family. Working out these problems while being four months into the whole thing is a lot of emotional baggage. My biggest thing is trust is earned and not freely given. So many don’t understand that fact. Money is no exception. Divorce is at an all-time high and is hard to go based on the word. Human emotions tend to be erratic. People change once they move to a new country, family, or person they love. I’m so tired of proving my worth to partners. Moreso, my gut was telling me that I was not comfortable with the whole arrangement, and I was about to give the gift of citizenship and perhaps a better life in America.

    💝Happy New Year!

    Happy New Year! 2023 Vye