Vyechi | Personal Growth & Mindfulness

Category: Meaningful Connection

Communication, depth, presence

  • Rediscovering Connection: A Journey Towards Self-Worth and Meaningful Relationships

    Rediscovering Connection: A Journey Towards Self-Worth and Meaningful Relationships

    I want to improve my meaningful connections with family and close friends. When I speak with others dear to me, I will explore my supportive core values—for example, doing dishes so they can relax or helping fold laundry so my partner can focus on their tasks. Meanwhile, I must be careful not to trigger my codependency. I am not doing so much that I neglect my well-being.

    Rediscovering Connection: A Journey Towards Self-Worth and Meaningful Relationships

    The question I should ask myself.

    • 🚀 Am I doing the work out of Fear or Joy?
    • How can I remember ⚡ to think about that question? 🤢

    If I want to attend any social event, I can slow down my mind through meditation. For me, it’s all about creating a large enough gap between reacting and socializing with people. If the relationship is meaningful, I will do what is needed to keep my mind at peace.

    Another perspective raises questions:

    • Why must the relationship be meaningful for me to be a joy?
    • Why can’t I find happiness and give my whole positive self away without fear? 😎

    Before improving my connection with friends and family, I must find a reason to support the following statement.

    • I Am Worth it!

    Story Time ✨

    Many times throughout the day, I’m hit with tasks and thoughts of not being enough for myself. I can try to justify my worth because I exist. All I need is myself. Speaking to a coworker, I learned nobody can redefine my existence or worth. However, somehow, a trauma is locked inside of me. When I was a young lad, I found myself isolating. My father didn’t treat me well when I was younger. Later, I came to know that my dad’s parents were abusive to him.

    I regularly overwork, eat sweets, or numb myself with food and movies. What has helped me so far is awareness. I’m trying to forgive my father. Writing about these events may give me a way forward.

    I have not reached a connection with myself. However, I know that it exists, and therefore, I exist. I must continue to slow down to become aware. Then, I can further improve my meaningful connection with family and close friends.

    Well, that is for rediscovering a connection. Feel free to leave your thoughts below if any words resonate with you. 😊

  • Embracing Uniqueness: Finding Balance and Celebrating the Journey

    Embracing Uniqueness: Finding Balance and Celebrating the Journey

    My authenticity or uniqueness is in who I Am. All I need is myself. Then, I can find a balance in my interests and express how the other party crossed my boundaries. A coworker, Cedric, told me the meaning of “I,” and that nothing else can redefine my existence or worth.

    Embracing Uniqueness: Finding Balance and Celebrating the Journey

    Similarly, I want to be mine; nobody else can have me. Sometimes, I create the art. No three hands are ever alike. I desire to focus my creative flow on the 12 favorite problems. As I told myself, I could stand out by focusing on what was vital to me.

    In CoDA, Promise Five speaks about recognizing and embracing the importance of uniqueness.

    “I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving, and loved.”

    Celebrate the Joy in the Journey: Recover with Color! A recommendation from the CoDA group. I haven’t tried it myself. However, I run an art Meetup and occasionally draw with them.

    Story Time: Denial when I see a person racing behind me ✨

    Following that great energy, I can come to know Promise Six and recognize others as equal to myself. Only after accepting myself can I do what is needed to make my energy vibe attractive, whether it’s a drawing artist date or a 23-minute walk near the Canal. Many times during the month, I find myself meditating in the evening or morning when I’m working from home. I am responsible for feeding my energy and finding the balance to keep me going. Otherwise, I will choose fear and denial patterns.

    Some time ago, I saw a person racing behind me. I tried to go faster and felt a feeling of strength. I wanted to control the situation; I didn’t want them to beat me. In the past, it happened to me when people behind me were racing. I remember when I had a cyclist going fast on the boardwalk racing behind me. I decided to try to keep up by running like a crazy person, only to learn that I would fail.

    Later, I learned that I was experiencing a trigger of not being good enough and stressing over my situation. I have difficulty identifying my feelings. In CoDA, that is the denial pattern. Of course, I can argue that it could be a control issue here, but I’m not sure which. I was running to get fit and somehow have clarity when all I needed was to stop and slow down.

    The end is the beginning; it’s great to have you here. Feel free to leave any thoughts or realizations. Peace be with you. 💖

  • Become Mindful: Recognizing Cognitive Distortions and Finding Balance in Life

    Become Mindful: Recognizing Cognitive Distortions and Finding Balance in Life

    During a CoDA meeting, somebody mentioned a quote to the group. [[Like Hugging a Red Balloon Experience life and let go]]. I was still waiting for an answer when I asked the group about its origins. However, my gut feeling told me it has roots in experiencing life inside of overthinking.

    💖 Become Mindful Recognizing Cognitive Distortions and Finding Balance in Life

    The red balloon is similar to using the healing code. The author, Alexander Lloyd, asks the listeners a vital question. What would I do with the remaining minutes if I had a short life?

    I asked, “Why am I afraid of experiencing life?”

    Right off the bat, A memory of a friend popped into my mind. I don’t have to experience everything, but it played out through the mind. However, I need to keep my thoughts balanced cos I can overthink.

    For example, skiing is a frill-like kissing experience.

    I like to try many things, such as fresh mountain air, peacefulness, views, and travel while staying in a cabin. More so, skiing is a technique, an exciting challenge with the combinations of many benefits. Meanwhile, following my interests and experiencing life can either bring suffering or overthinking to its knees. When suffering is processed, I can focus on happiness.

    Moreover, the experience can lead to the desire to prevent holding on to anything. I can continue to have these thoughts in my mind, but it would be great if I stumbled upon something exciting. Something so great that it will push me to continue to seek instead of think. One way I can seek this freedom is through peaceful meditation. I am going to my inner being and seeing what my mind has been up to.

    🚀 Recognizing Distortions In My Thinking

    Returning to [[Recognizing Distortions In My Thinking]], continuing to overthink my experiences can lead to suffering. While working with my therapist, she shared a unique chart that has given me the ability to catch and question my experience. The chart has five columns: emotions, situation, thoughts, re-framing, and conclusion. It’s vital to question self-worth here. Knowing that [[I Am Worth it]] and justifying my worth [[Because I Exist]]. My day is at the max, and thoughts push me to think I am insufficient. Therefore, I need to keep an eye on the ultimate balance, a slice between what is real and present and what is a thought. Spending too much time with thoughts will take me away from the present moment and create much suffering in my system.

    Below, I’m sharing my cognitive distortions tool with you. Feel free to use it any way you wish. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the comments below. If you enjoyed the passage above, let me know via like comment, or both. 😊

    EmotionsSituationThoughtsReframe The ThoughtsConclusion
    Rate Intensity 2,3,4,6Where were you? What was going on?What went through your mind? Proof for and against?Identify the distortion for each thought.Have any of your preconceptions may have influenced thoughts
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    Cognitive Distortions Tool